Thursday, July 31, 2008

Frazetta: Painting With Fire

IMDB: Frazetta: Painting With Fire
  • OVERALL: 92
  • VISUAL: 99
  • STORY: 93
  • BETTER THAN: Crumb
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: The Joy of Painting (TV Series & Collected)
  • WAS MISSING: Even more time spent on the countless knock off Frazetta artists, including comic book covers, magazines, films and album covers. So many people used his style. I would've loved to see even more of these exposed, either as plagiarism or homages.
  • SEE IT FOR: Unbelievable mastery of art and the human form. You would never have guessed his lack of training, his "funnies" beginnings or his sincere dedication to family. I also truly enjoyed the before and after shots of works he repainted in hopes of improving them.

The Cell

IMDB: The Cell
  • OVERALL: 82
  • VISUAL: 90
  • STORY: 70
  • ACTING: 87
  • BETTER THAN: The First Turn-On!!
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Full Metal Jacket
  • WAS MISSING: GameBoy 3D.
  • SEE IT FOR: Vincent D'Onofrio in yet another underrated, underseen performance as a creepy, creepy... um... McCreep? Even with the artistic colors and costumes, he'll give you nightmares.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Fulltime Killer (Chuen jik sat sau)

IMDB: Fulltime Killer (Chuen jik sat sau)
  • OVERALL: 91
  • VISUAL: 92
  • STORY: 91
  • ACTING: 89
  • BETTER THAN: Kill Zone (Saat po long)
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Versus
  • WAS MISSING: A need for aiming. I mean, does anybody look where they're pointing that thing?
  • SEE IT FOR: The best Bill Clinton mask scene since Point Break, combined with very stylized fight scenes and a sinister performance from Andy Lau.

Game 6

IMDB: Walk Hard: Game 6
  • OVERALL: 67
  • VISUAL: 65
  • STORY: 64
  • ACTING: 71
  • BETTER THAN: The Break-Up
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: For the Love of the Game
  • WAS MISSING: About 20 more shots of Buckner missing that grounder.
  • SEE IT FOR: "Life is true. We can still win." The more Keaton is prompted to say this, the more he's trying to convince himself of it, to no avail. Sadly, I'll do the same with "Keaton doesn't make bad movies."

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

IMDB: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
  • OVERALL: 79
  • VISUAL: 80
  • STORY: 86
  • ACTING: 72
  • BETTER THAN: Spy Hard
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Top Secret!
  • WAS MISSING: A funny scene outside of the pre-released clips on
  • SEE IT FOR: Every scene that starts with Tim Meadows saying "Dewey, you don't want none of this!" The Dewey Cox Died song at the end credits is entertaining enough, and you get to see Jewel, Lyle and Jackson Browne on stage together!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


  • OVERALL: 69
  • VISUAL: 78
  • STORY: 66
  • ACTING: 63
  • BETTER THAN: Rush Hour 3
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Rush Hour 2
  • WAS MISSING: The patented tough guy humor Statham usually brings. Triads? More like try agains!
  • SEE IT FOR: Jet Li, but barely.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


IMDB: Labyrinth
  • OVERALL: 86
  • VISUAL: 91
  • STORY: 87
  • ACTING: 79
  • BETTER THAN: Meet the Feebles
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: The Dark Crystal
  • WAS MISSING: A laser light show and a creepy talking wolf.
  • SEE IT FOR: An early film from Jennifer Connelly, "helping hands," and a scene where Harry Potter's Yule Ball meets Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

IMDB: The Unbearable Lightness of Being
  • OVERALL: 90
  • VISUAL: 94
  • STORY: 84
  • ACTING: 93
  • BETTER THAN: Wild at Heart
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Blame it on Rio
  • WAS MISSING: Both halves of the movie on one DVD. C'mon people.
  • SEE IT FOR: If you've ever thought about a romantic, torrid, foreign affair, chances are this sensual film of sexual awakening may have crossed your subconscious mind.

Donnie Darko

IMDB: Donnie Darko
  • OVERALL: 94
  • VISUAL: 93
  • STORY: 97
  • ACTING: 91
  • BETTER THAN: What the Bleep!?: Down the Rabbit Hole
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Dead Again
  • WAS MISSING: "What's up Doc?" in a violent, grumbly voice. This is one rabbit Lenny wouldn't wanna pet.
  • SEE IT FOR: Alternate realities, parallel worlds, the dangers of medication, creepily dark realms of the mind and dinner conversation a younger sister should never have to hear!

Monday, July 21, 2008


IMDB: Darkon
  • OVERALL: 69
  • VISUAL: 73
  • STORY: 75
  • BETTER THAN: Lord Protector (The Dark Mist)
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: The Visitors (Les Visiteurs)
  • WAS MISSING: Respect. I couldn't take anything very seriously and it seemed to feed right into every negative stereotype you'd think they would be trying to knock down.
  • SEE IT FOR: I love medieval themes more than most, and I'm down with costumed role players, fairs and games... but I've never been down with professional LARPer-types who live out the medieval days, on and off the field. Disappointingly, Darkon did not change my mind, but to each their own!

Blonde Ambition

IMDB: Blonde Ambition
  • OVERALL: 73
  • VISUAL: 80
  • STORY: 65
  • ACTING: 74
  • BETTER THAN: Blonde and Blonderer (I've heard)
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Legally Blonde
  • WAS MISSING: The "Newlyweds: Jessica's Divorced and Single" MTV promo.
  • SEE IT FOR: You have to be a die hard Jessica Simpson, Luke Wilson or Willie Nelson fan. All others should run the farrest, most really farrest away. If you're one of those though, you'll enjoy it more than the Internet says you will.

Top 10 Best Sleep, Depression & Insomnia Movies

Top 10 Best Sleep, Depression or Insomnia Movies (Top 50!)
I have merged the Top 10 Best Sleep Deprivation Movies, Top 10 Best Depression Movies and Top 10 Best Insomnia Movies. Keep in mind this is NOT a list for "Most Depressing Movies," rather for movies dealing with depression and/or sleep disorders!
Links will be added as the reviews go up! The list keeps growing!
  1. The Machinist
  2. About a Boy
  3. Fight Club
  4. Donnie Darko
  5. Punch Drunk Love
  6. Waking Life
  7. Pi
  8. Secretary
  9. The Flying Scotsman
  10. The Good Night
  11. Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself
  12. A Beautiful Mind
  13. Better Off Dead
  14. I'll Sleep When I'm Dead
  15. In the Bedroom
  16. Harold and Maude
  17. Garden State
  18. Grave of the Fireflies (Hotaru no haka)
  19. The Station Agent
  20. Dark City
  21. Lost in Translation
  22. The Science of Sleep
  23. Taxi Driver
  24. On the Edge
  25. The Royal Tenenbaums
  26. The Quiet
  27. The Virgin Suicides
  28. Cashback
  29. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
  30. Seconds
  31. American Beauty
  32. The Brown Bunny
  33. Numb
  34. Insomnia
  35. Chasing Sleep
  36. While You Were Sleeping
  37. Who Needs Sleep?
  38. Leaving Las Vegas
  39. They Shoot Horses, Don't They?
  40. Sleeping Beauty
  41. Nightmare on Elm Street Series
  42. Manic
  43. Less than Zero
  44. Stay
  45. What Dreams May Come
  46. Stealing Home
  47. Girl Interrupted
  48. Caffeine
  49. Flatliners
  50. Into the Night
  51. Fade

The Incredible Hulk

IMDB: The Incredible Hulk
  • OVERALL: 91
  • VISUAL: 93
  • STORY: 84
  • ACTING: 95
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Superman II
  • WAS MISSING: Hulk surf Internet! Hulk ride gondola! Hulk become peaceful artist in tiny village!
  • SEE IT FOR: Hulk smash, thunderclap, Bill Bixby, Lou Ferigno... all there, as well as the always-brilliant Edward Norton. The last shot of the movie is tasty as well!

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

IMDB: Hellboy II: The Golden Army
  • OVERALL: 84
  • VISUAL: 91
  • STORY: 80
  • ACTING: 82
  • BETTER THAN: Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Hellboy
  • WAS MISSING: Mignola's striking artwork mixed in, and attention to gritty storytelling instead of the endless Shrek-like cheap laughs.
  • SEE IT FOR: A somewhat-romantic, drunken serenade, as well as steampunk in the 70 x 70 fashion. That will make sense when you see it.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Top 10 Best Christian Bale Movies

Top 10 Best Christian Bale Movies
Links will be added as the reviews go up! The list keeps growing!
  1. The Machinist - 99
  2. American Psycho - 98
  3. 3:10 to Yuma - 97
  4. Batman: The Dark Knight - 97
  5. Batman Begins - 95
  6. The Prestige - 92
  7. Henry V - 91
  8. Reign of Fire - 90
  9. Howl's Moving Castle - 90
  10. Equilibrium - 89
  11. Velvet Goldmine - 88
  12. Rescue Dawn - 86
  13. Empire of the Sun - 85
  14. Harsh Times - 82
  15. A Midsummer Night's Dream - 80
  16. Pocahontas - 80
  17. A New World - 79
  18. Shaft - 72

Tank Girl

IMDB: Tank Girl
  • OVERALL: 90
  • VISUAL: 95
  • STORY: 88
  • ACTING: 87
  • BETTER THAN: Cherry 2000
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior
  • WAS MISSING: Even more artwork in the film and some comic book DVD extras.
  • SEE IT FOR: A 20-something Watts as Jet Girl, perfect comic-drawings-to-live-action segways, Petty's comic irreverence, and the coolest Bjork video to date. This movie's worth far more than 2 dollars and 15 cents!


IMDB: Starcrash
  • OVERALL: 49
  • VISUAL: 51
  • STORY: 39
  • ACTING: 32
  • BETTER THAN: Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Ice Pirates
  • WAS MISSING: A "Comedy" or "Parody" classification. Still, there's value here!
  • SEE IT FOR: Too many to list. You have redneck robots, leather slave girls, Argonaut-ish stop-motion giants, blatant Star Wars ripoffs, Windows Media Player-type special effects and hilariously voice-tracked dialogue. And, I haven't even mentioned The Hoff in makeup!

The Flying Scotsman

IMDB: The Flying Scotsman
  • OVERALL: 93
  • VISUAL: 92
  • STORY: 96
  • ACTING: 91
  • BETTER THAN: American Flyers
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Triplets of Belleville (Les Triplettes de Belleville)
  • WAS MISSING: Journey's "What It Takes To Win" playing during every defeat and victory.
  • SEE IT FOR: Cycling at its greatest and most obsessive, as well as the (attempted?) overcoming of internal struggle far greater than any world record. Courageously brilliant.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets

IMDB: National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets

My Blueberry Nights

IMDB: My Blueberry Nights
  • OVERALL: 80
  • VISUAL: 85
  • STORY: 65
  • ACTING: 91
  • BETTER THAN: It Could Happen to You
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Waitress
  • WAS MISSING: A pulse for the first 2/3 of the movie.
  • SEE IT FOR: The kiss. If you can make it through the excruiatingly slow start, it just may be worth it for the kiss. Very sensual, very yum. Good luck making it to that scene though! Strathairn was memorable as well.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Top 10 Best Comic Book Movies

Top 10 Best Comic Book Movies
Full reviews coming soon and they'll be linked from this list as they're updated!
  1. Transformers: The Movie (Animated) - 99: There are few things that give me goosebumps like Prime showing up to turn the tide as you hear "You've got The Touch!"
  2. Batman - 98: Elfman, Burton and Keaton leave one helluva impression. It's hard to beat the original. The look of Gotham and the triumphant score vault it to the top.
  3. Batman: The Dark Knight - 97: You haven't really lived until you've seen Heath Ledger's Joker in a nurse outfit. His Joker actually tops Jack's because he's oh so creepy. The original Batman had more inner turmoil and struggle, but I'm not sure whey they don't write this into the new Batman script. Bale can handle it, but they're writing him into too much luxury. The third installment should have PLENTY of inner Bruce Wayne turmoil and more of a focus on Bale's character. Here's hoping!
  4. A History of Violence - 97: Viggo and Bello scorch the screen and the inner turmoil throughout is a brilliant depiction of leaving your past behind.
  5. Batman Begins - 96: This movie exposed the mainstream world to the crazy intensity of the unmatched Bale. The best Batman since the original. If it had Elfman's score, it'd be the best. It's that good.
  6. X-2: X-Men United - 95: A comic book movie making you want to cry? Yes. It's Famke and it's X-Men 2. Now that the introductions were out of the way, bring on the storylines!
  7. Heavy Metal - 94: Taarna headlines a series of animated shorts that are all tied together by a green, glowing ball of evil. Based on the old fantasy mags and featuring a rock soundtrack that includes Journey, this one has unlimited replay value.
  8. 300 - 93: Visually stunning. I'd watch Butler in anything, so when you star him in FrAnk Miller's masterpiece, that's a winning combination. The story may not translate perfectly to the big screen, but the visuals take it to the next level.
  9. Hellboy - 92: Perlman's first take on Hellboy was fresh and original and the movie does a good job of taking Mignola's art style and creating an acceptable alternative. The Predator-like baddie doesn't hurt.
  10. Superman II - 92: I still have nightmares of the three villains Ursa, Zod and Non. Superman could have not even been in the movie and they would make it epic. I still think I'm going to get trapped in a glass square and spend eternity floating through space.
  11. Sin City - 92
  12. Spider-Man - 92
  13. Road to Perdition - 92
  14. Superman - 92
  15. TMNT (2007) - 92
  16. Akira - 91: Responsible for creating so many new anime fans, Akira features wicked societal circumstances and even cooler motorcycles. Put your thinking cap on for this one and make sure it matches your red jacket.
  17. The Incredible Hulk (2008) - 91
  18. V for Vendetta - 90
  19. Ghost World - 90
  20. X-Men - 90
  21. Tank Girl - 90
  22. American Splendor - 89
  23. Ghost in the Shell - 89
  24. The Crow - 87
  25. Appleseed -87
  26. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - 86
  27. Transformers (2007) - 86
  28. Metropolis - 86
  29. Spider-Man 2 - 85
  30. Stardust - 84
  31. Hellboy II: The Golden Army - 84
  32. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm - 83
  33. Conan The Barbarian - 82
  34. Blade: Trinity - 81

The Good Night

IMDB: The Good Night
  • OVERALL: 92
  • VISUAL: 85
  • STORY: 97
  • ACTING: 95
  • BETTER THAN: What Dreams May Come
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Waking Life
  • WAS MISSING: Pain. I'm sure there was unseen pain.
  • SEE IT FOR: Insomnia. Lucid dreaming. Depression. There are a few scenes where you may literally laugh out loud. Pegg should be Pigg. Paltrow is so put out. It tackles these issues in a non-threatening way and, "You can't just reciprocate the complaint!"

Starter for 10

IMDB: Starter for 10
  • OVERALL: 91
  • VISUAL: 83
  • STORY: 97
  • ACTING: 92
  • BETTER THAN: Art School Confidential
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Glory Daze
  • WAS MISSING: A cameo from Alex Trebek.
  • SEE IT FOR: A pre-Atonement James McAvoy in a breakout performance. This one's especially romantic for the trivia nerds!

Tekkon Kinkreet

Wikipedia: Tekkon Kinkreet
  • OVERALL: 90
  • VISUAL: 97
  • STORY: 90
  • ACTING: 83
  • BETTER THAN: Tokyo Godfathers
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Spirited Away
  • WAS MISSING: A less annoying English dubbing.
  • SEE IT FOR: An amazingly-fresh, hyper-detailed, overly-angled art style that harkens back to traditional penciled anime and doodled sketchbooks in the best of ways.

Eastern Promises

IMDB: Eastern Promises
  • OVERALL: 92
  • VISUAL: 90
  • STORY: 91
  • ACTING: 94
  • BETTER THAN: Children of Men
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: A History of Violence
  • WAS MISSING: A warning before the brutal killings kick in.
  • SEE IT FOR: Tattoos and Viggo in a nude fight scene that rivals the one in Borat. The man fights harder than Daniel-san and has a heart that stays more golden than Pony Boy's.

Monday, July 14, 2008


I'm about to get married. It's the tail end of my bachelor party. What would any respectable bunch of drunk men want to do to end the night? Well, watch Gymkata and play drinking games, of course!

One guy had to drink every time somebody got hurt. Another guy had to drink every time there was a gymnastic-related move. A third guy had to drink every time there was bad dialogue, and I had to drink every time there was a ninja. Needless to say, by the end of the movie, we might as well have all had IVs of Newcastle pumping through our veins!

You can either watch the movie as is, or read the back of the box to give it a pretty different meaning. My favorite part is where our young hero finds himself racing through the village of the crazies (how politically correct is that!?), and he finds himself surrounded by baddies. He is backed into the center of the town square where he finds a conveniently placed pommel horse. Olympic-inspired swift kicks ensue. God bless Gymkata.

IMDB: Gymkata
  • OVERALL: 80
  • VISUAL: 90
  • STORY: 92
  • ACTING: 59
  • BETTER THAN: Surviving the Game
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: The Condemned
  • WAS MISSING: A Russian judge giving Jonathan Cabot a 7.9 for his perfect dismount after each battle.
  • SEE IT FOR: The arms race in the fictional country of Parmestan! The only problem? You would never know that without reading the back of the box. The in-movie plot is all gymnastics, all ninjas, all the time. You can't get much better than this movie folks, especially for drinking games.
FANTASY CASTS - If I were casting the movies...


If I were in control of casting the new live-action G.I. Joe movie, here is who would get to play the parts!

Duke played by Thomas Jane

Snake Eyes played by Jet Li

Storm Shadow played by Stephen Chow

Cobra Commander played by Gilbert Gottfried

Destro played by Vinnie Jones

Baroness played by Olivia Munn

Hawk played by Michael Biehn

Scarlett played by Laura Prepon

Flint played by Bruce Willis

Bazooka played by Vincent D'Onofrio

Lady Jaye played by Jessica Biel

Dr. Mindbender played by Billy Zane

Firefly played by Ken Leung

Quick Kick played by Tony Jaa

Jinx played by Ziyi Zhang

More coming soon!