Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Halloween (Rob Zombie's Halloween)


IMDB: Halloween (Rob Zombie's Halloween)
  • OVERALL: 86
  • VISUAL: 87
  • STORY: 92
  • ACTING: 80
  • BETTER THAN: Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Halloween (John Carpenter's Halloween)
  • WAS MISSING: A better actor for the young Michael Myers.
  • SEE IT FOR: The origin of Myers. This provides a great backstory and fresh spin on the franchise. Sheri Moon Zombie outperforms everybody and Danielle Harris (Myers' niece from Halloween 4 and 5) sneaks back into the series as Annie Brackett.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Brotherhood of the Wolf (Le pacte des loups)


IMDB: Brotherhood of the Wolf (Le pacte des loups)
  • OVERALL: 93
  • VISUAL: 95
  • STORY: 94
  • ACTING: 90
  • BETTER THAN: Dancing with Wolves
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Babe
  • WAS MISSING: An even creepier score.
  • SEE IT FOR: Fighting in the rain, vengeance personified and one of the best movie monsters ever.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Renaissance


IMDB: Renaissance
  • OVERALL: 82
  • VISUAL: 99
  • STORY: 63
  • ACTING: 83
  • BETTER THAN: Ultraviolet
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Sim City
  • WAS MISSING: Surprises. The plot moved too slowly and too much toward an expected ending to really hold your interest.
  • SEE IT FOR: The black and white animation is stunning and shines most in the backgrounds, including simple things like bricks and rooftops. You feel like you're in a graphic novel. Plus, the baddie with the cloaking device and Gatling-gun arm is pretty impressive.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Fulltime Killer (Chuen jik sat sau)


IMDB: Fulltime Killer (Chuen jik sat sau)
  • OVERALL: 91
  • VISUAL: 92
  • STORY: 91
  • ACTING: 89
  • BETTER THAN: Kill Zone (Saat po long)
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Versus
  • WAS MISSING: A need for aiming. I mean, does anybody look where they're pointing that thing?
  • SEE IT FOR: The best Bill Clinton mask scene since Point Break, combined with very stylized fight scenes and a sinister performance from Andy Lau.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Donnie Darko


IMDB: Donnie Darko
  • OVERALL: 94
  • VISUAL: 93
  • STORY: 97
  • ACTING: 91
  • BETTER THAN: What the Bleep!?: Down the Rabbit Hole
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Dead Again
  • WAS MISSING: "What's up Doc?" in a violent, grumbly voice. This is one rabbit Lenny wouldn't wanna pet.
  • SEE IT FOR: Alternate realities, parallel worlds, the dangers of medication, creepily dark realms of the mind and dinner conversation a younger sister should never have to hear!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Gymkata

I'm about to get married. It's the tail end of my bachelor party. What would any respectable bunch of drunk men want to do to end the night? Well, watch Gymkata and play drinking games, of course!

One guy had to drink every time somebody got hurt. Another guy had to drink every time there was a gymnastic-related move. A third guy had to drink every time there was bad dialogue, and I had to drink every time there was a ninja. Needless to say, by the end of the movie, we might as well have all had IVs of Newcastle pumping through our veins!

You can either watch the movie as is, or read the back of the box to give it a pretty different meaning. My favorite part is where our young hero finds himself racing through the village of the crazies (how politically correct is that!?), and he finds himself surrounded by baddies. He is backed into the center of the town square where he finds a conveniently placed pommel horse. Olympic-inspired swift kicks ensue. God bless Gymkata.

IMDB: Gymkata
  • OVERALL: 80
  • VISUAL: 90
  • STORY: 92
  • ACTING: 59
  • BETTER THAN: Surviving the Game
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: The Condemned
  • WAS MISSING: A Russian judge giving Jonathan Cabot a 7.9 for his perfect dismount after each battle.
  • SEE IT FOR: The arms race in the fictional country of Parmestan! The only problem? You would never know that without reading the back of the box. The in-movie plot is all gymnastics, all ninjas, all the time. You can't get much better than this movie folks, especially for drinking games.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Fade


IMDB: Fade
  • OVERALL: 66
  • VISUAL: 57
  • STORY: 78
  • ACTING: 64
  • BETTER THAN: Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Insomnia
  • WAS MISSING: Its identity. It didn't go far enough in the drama, horror or psychological department to really define itself.
  • SEE IT FOR: Despite some some bad acting, the scenes with the doctors discussing the insomnia condition are pretty interesting. Plus, it will make you feel like you've never *really* cried on the couch.

Monday, June 23, 2008

In the Bedroom


IMDB: In the Bedroom
  • OVERALL: 91
  • VISUAL: 89
  • STORY: 87
  • ACTING: 96
  • BETTER THAN: The Door in the Floor
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: My Life
  • WAS MISSING: A little more back story on the supporting characters, which would have been even more riveting if we could identify more with their flaws, causing even more confliction.
  • SEE IT FOR: Tom Wilkinson usually shines, but there is a chilling sincerity here, even when he's not saying a word.

The Professional (Leon)


IMDB: The Professional (Leon)
  • OVERALL: 94
  • VISUAL: 93
  • STORY: 98
  • ACTING: 92
  • BETTER THAN: Assassins
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: The Matador
  • WAS MISSING: A prologue and an epilogue would've been very fulfilling, even if they were just DVD extras.
  • SEE IT FOR: Action, tragedy and a touching tale of love between a guardian and protege.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Rambo (2008)


IMDB: Rambo (2008)
  • OVERALL: 93
  • VISUAL: 99
  • STORY: 93
  • ACTING: 86
  • BETTER THAN: Missing in Action
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Predator
  • WAS MISSING: A muddy waterfall and whites of the eyes, but that's probably for the best.
  • SEE IT FOR: Amazingly stylized visuals that rival 300's. Amazingly forceful bullet impacts that rival Saving Private Ryan's. Amazingly simple, stripped-down story that rightfully lets the visuals tell the story. It also has some of the hardest war scenes to watch when it involves the women and children. Rambo is a must-see for any fan of warfare or action.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

3:10 to Yuma (2007)


IMDB: 3:10 to Yuma (2007)
  • OVERALL: 97
  • VISUAL: 95
  • STORY: 98
  • ACTING: 97
  • BETTER THAN: Unforgiven
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: This is my new favorite western, so... nothing!
  • WAS MISSING: An alternate ending so all the haters could be happy, I suppose, but I'll take it as is.
  • SEE IT FOR: Bale and Crowe giving you some of the best goose bumps possible as the absurd courageously happens.

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (Boksuneun naui geot)


IMDB: Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (Boksuneun naui geot)
  • OVERALL: 84
  • VISUAL: 70
  • STORY: 93
  • ACTING: 89
  • BETTER THAN: War
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: The Host (Gwoemul)
  • WAS MISSING: A few more upbeat scenes to offset the deliberately slow tension.
  • SEE IT FOR: A really funny Three's Company-esque sex through a wall scene. Oh, and the slow, chilling reality of the cost of retribution.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Teeth


Bloody genitalia. If that's your thing, then this is the movie for you. The rest of the world? Let's just say this movie is more fulfilling as a teaser trailer than a full-length feature.

IMDB: Teeth
  • OVERALL: 78
  • VISUAL: 83
  • STORY: 73
  • ACTING: 77
  • BETTER THAN: Poison Ivy: The New Seduction
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Basic Instinct
  • WAS MISSING: Bite. Imagination preying on your fears. Seriously... This was like "Signs" where the less they showed, the better off they'd have been. You get bloody crotches galore though.
  • SEE IT FOR: If you always wondered what happened to Reese Witherspoon's character in "Freeway" after the credits rolled and she grew a mutant, man-eating vagina. Yeah, I didn't think anybody was wondering that.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Uptown Girls


IMDB: Uptown Girls
  • OVERALL: 45
  • VISUAL: 65
  • STORY: 30
  • ACTING: 40
  • BETTER THAN: Kazaam
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: The Boy Who Could Fly
  • WAS MISSING: Fun nannies, cute kids, shenanigans and day trips, like the previews promised.
  • SEE IT FOR: Perhaps the worst job ever of marketing a movie. Not for kids. This is False Advertising 101.

Lars and the Real Girl


IMDB: Lars and the Real Girl
  • OVERALL: 82
  • VISUAL: 75
  • STORY: 91
  • ACTING: 79
  • BETTER THAN: On Line
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself
  • WAS MISSING: The disturbing, perverse edge of the main character, even if lighthearted.
  • SEE IT FOR: Gosling fans will enjoy, but it's Paul Schneider who keeps this one off life support.

Delicatessen


IMDB: Delicatessen
  • OVERALL: 89
  • VISUAL: 94
  • STORY: 84
  • ACTING: 90
  • BETTER THAN: Parents
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: The City of Lost Children
  • WAS MISSING: Likable characters for the underground rescue team. They tried, but failed.
  • SEE IT FOR: Dominique Pinon will make you fall in love with him. Entertaining and engaging.

The Kingdom


IMDB: The Kingdom
  • OVERALL: 79
  • VISUAL: 80
  • STORY: 79
  • ACTING: 78
  • BETTER THAN: Men of War
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Under Fire
  • WAS MISSING: A pulse. Good luck staying awake until it gets rolling.
  • SEE IT FOR: Your Friday Night Lights fix. From cast to directors, it's the same bunch and feel.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Battle Royale


IMDB: Battle Royale
  • OVERALL: 90
  • VISUAL: 91
  • STORY: 90
  • ACTING: 88
  • BETTER THAN: The Condemned
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: The Great Escape
  • WAS MISSING: You are dead, please drive through... The humor was brilliant in the first half, absent in the second. An English dubbed version would have been funny to watch for a second viewing just to see how poorly the dialogue may have matched up.
  • SEE IT FOR: Over-the-top action. Friends turning on friends. If you are a fan of prison stories or movies about dangerous games and high stakes, this is the perfect movie for you!

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford



IMDB: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
  • OVERALL: 85
  • VISUAL: 75
  • STORY: 92
  • ACTING: 89
  • BETTER THAN: Wyatt Earp
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Tombstone
  • WAS MISSING: "I'm yer Huckleberry."
  • SEE IT FOR: The What-a-burger-ish commercial voice over guy telling a very slow tale that is worth it if you like character development.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Baxter

There is nothing more heartwarming than the tale of a boy and his dog. Well, except for a tale of an angry French boy and his mentally and morally tortured dog. He's rather cute though, the pup, and he thinks in the greatest French accent. Seriously. It's almost like the time my dog went through years of pain of seizures, then died of epilepsy... oh wait, that's right... this actually isn't that heartwarming of a movie. It's disturbing, really, though I know some of you are into that kind of thing. It has some brilliant moments of animal dependency and pets' needs and expectations, but that does not outweigh the brutality of man, so this movie is not for the casual audience.

  • OVERALL: 79
  • VISUAL: 80
  • STORY: 93
  • ACTING: 64
  • BETTER THAN: The Cat from Outer Space
  • NOT AS GOOD AS: Babe
  • WAS MISSING: Belly rubs
  • SEE IT FOR: One of the cutest, ugliest dogs on film, running so fast with his lil' legs to keep up