I thought I would stay on the theme of movies with "Last" in the title. Wow... was that ever a mistake. I knew very little about this movie going into it, but expected some sort of fantastical family or kid-friendly film about magic and, supposedly, a talking bunny. The doll reminded me a lot of one my friends' kid has, so I already had a special connection to it. A lot had to go wrong to disappoint me because I'm great at suspending belief and enjoying this genre of movies.
However, it was just plain awful. It was based on a short story, and I'm guessing it was a much better read. It had some interesting overall plot points and ideas, but they were executed horribly. I kept wondering what the intended target audience was for this film. Papa Bear would be bored to tears by the lack of action or anything resembling coherent plot. Mama Bear would disconnect herself due to the unbelievably bad acting of the two main child stars (and yes, she'd give them the benefit of the doubt for being kids). Baby Bear wouldn't make it through the first 30 minutes. The story isn't told enough to capture a kid's attention, and there is nothing fantastical enough to inspire their imagination. There's potential for it, but it completely falls short. There are small bursts of averagely-amusing special effects, especially at the end, but it's way too late by that point. I liked Timothy Hutton at times, but Michael Clarke Duncan further adds to the "joke" nature of this film.
Rainn Wilson does his best, but not even "Dwight
Schrute" can save this movie.
Don't even get me started on the bunny rabbit doll. The first time you see it, you anticipate a warm character with the charm of Gizmo from the Gremlins movies. Instead, you get Charlie Brown's teacher on helium staring creepily at you over shoulders and through intrusive zoom shots. I may actually have nightmares.
I sadly recommend this to nobody. It'd more accurately be titled: The Lost Whimsy.
There are some graphic novels and comic books that translate well to the big screen, and there are some that fail miserably. Stardust doesn't really do either. If you're in the mood for whimsical adventure that gets overly cheesy while following witches, pirates and magical objects, this may be your movie. Sure, that all sounds great, but it doesn't translate quite as well. The high moments, like Robert De Niro's happy pirate, or Sienna Miller's too-briefly-shown frumpiness, are often lost in the long, drawn-out cross-country adventure treks and epic battle scenes. They reminded me of Lancelot running repeatedly up and over the hill in Monty Python's Holy Grail, except Stardust was taking itself seriously. Danes tries too hard to capture the otherworldly essence of a star and she's outshone by the rest of the cast.
I thought I would stay on the theme of movies with "Last" in the title. Wow... was that ever a mistake. I knew very little about this movie going into it, but expected some sort of fantastical family or kid-friendly film about magic and, supposedly, a talking bunny. The doll reminded me a lot of one my friends' kid has, so I already had a special connection to it. A lot had to go wrong to disappoint me because I'm great at suspending belief and enjoying this genre of movies.
We had our advance screening tickets in hand. We waited in a line for an hour and a half, the day before the movie was released. We paid $5 for our Pibb Xtra, which I proudly snuck past Mel's caffeine sensors. We watched the entire movie in awe, then I sat there feeling robbed. Don't get me wrong, I thought the movie was great and I'm one of the most-biased Harry Potter lovers around, but the movie just felt so... short, to me. It was over two hours long, but as the film version of one of the longest HP books, it just left so much out. I understand this is the case with all book-to-movie translations, but I just couldn't believe how much of the true meat was left out. There are so many huge plot points J.K. Rowling has set up for the final book, whether they are legit, or red herrings, which originated in this book... and none of them made their way to the screen. The prophecy is shortened nearly to the point of being spoiler. Snape is pretty much absent from the film, which is a travesty to one of the book's most complicated characters, and I think, maybe the most important and pivotal when all's said and done.