Superhero Movie

IMDB: Superhero Movie

• OVERALL: 45
• VISUAL: 68
  
• STORY: 12
  
• ACTING: 56
  
• BETTER THAN: The Fantastic Four (1994 Version)
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: My Super Ex-Girlfriend
  
• WAS MISSING: A "Skip" feature... for the entire movie.
  
• SEE IT FOR: The first couple of Nielsen and McDonald scenes, or if you've misplaced your X-Men movie and the sound and picture don't work on your TV.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

IMDB: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

• OVERALL: 79
• VISUAL: 80
  
• STORY: 86
  
• ACTING: 72
  
• BETTER THAN: Spy Hard
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Top Secret!
  
• WAS MISSING: A funny scene outside of the pre-released clips on FunnyOrDie.com.
  
• SEE IT FOR: Every scene that starts with Tim Meadows saying "Dewey, you don't want none of this!" The Dewey Cox Died song at the end credits is entertaining enough, and you get to see Jewel, Lyle and Jackson Browne on stage together!
  

Blonde Ambition

IMDB: Blonde Ambition

• OVERALL: 73
• VISUAL: 80
  
• STORY: 65
  
• ACTING: 74
  
• BETTER THAN: Blonde and Blonderer (I've heard)
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Legally Blonde
  
• WAS MISSING: The "Newlyweds: Jessica's Divorced and Single" MTV promo.
  
• SEE IT FOR: You have to be a die hard Jessica Simpson, Luke Wilson or Willie Nelson fan. All others should run the farrest, most really farrest away. If you're one of those though, you'll enjoy it more than the Internet says you will.
  

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

IMDB: Hellboy II: The Golden Army

• OVERALL: 84
• VISUAL: 91
  
• STORY: 80
  
• ACTING: 82
  
• BETTER THAN: Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Hellboy
  
• WAS MISSING: Mignola's striking artwork mixed in, and attention to gritty storytelling instead of the endless Shrek-like cheap laughs.
  
• SEE IT FOR: A somewhat-romantic, drunken serenade, as well as steampunk in the 70 x 70 fashion. That will make sense when you see it.

Tank Girl

IMDB: Tank Girl

• OVERALL: 90
• VISUAL: 95
  
• STORY: 88
  
• ACTING: 87
  
• BETTER THAN: Cherry 2000
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior
  
• WAS MISSING: Even more artwork in the film and some comic book DVD extras.
  
• SEE IT FOR: A 20-something Watts as Jet Girl, perfect comic-drawings-to-live-action segways, Petty's comic irreverence, and the coolest Bjork video to date. This movie's worth far more than 2 dollars and 15 cents!
  

Starcrash

IMDB: Starcrash

• OVERALL: 49
• VISUAL: 51
  
• STORY: 39
  
• ACTING: 32
  
• BETTER THAN: Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Ice Pirates
  
• WAS MISSING: A "Comedy" or "Parody" classification. Still, there's value here!
  
• SEE IT FOR: Too many to list. You have redneck robots, leather slave girls, Argonaut-ish stop-motion giants, blatant Star Wars ripoffs, Windows Media Player-type special effects and hilariously voice-tracked dialogue. And, I haven't even mentioned The Hoff in makeup!
  

National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets

IMDB: National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets

• OVERALL: 76
• VISUAL: 88
  
• STORY: 69
  
• ACTING: 72
  
• BETTER THAN: Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Duck Tales: The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp
  
• WAS MISSING: A "dumb" character to summarize the huge leaps of logic for the audience.
  
• SEE IT FOR: Diane Krueger showing a softer, sillier side that still comes off strong. Helen Mirren adds a bit as well, but the men in the movie just seem self-important and mopey.

Starter for 10

IMDB: Starter for 10

• OVERALL: 91
• VISUAL: 83
  
• STORY: 97
• ACTING: 92
• BETTER THAN: Art School Confidential
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Glory Daze
  
• WAS MISSING: A cameo from Alex Trebek.
  
• SEE IT FOR: A pre-Atonement James McAvoy in a breakout performance. This one's especially romantic for the trivia nerds!
  

Definitely, Maybe

IMDB: Definitely, Maybe

• OVERALL: 89
  
• VISUAL: 91
  
• STORY: 94
  
• ACTING: 82
  
• BETTER THAN: Alfie
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Wimbledon
  
• WAS MISSING: A kid you can root for. I mean, aren't there any other child actors out there other than Abigail Breslin?
  
• SEE IT FOR: Klein's drunk. Weisz is at the top of her funny-looking-yet-hot game as an intelligent, quirky, strong tease. Sadly, Reynolds loses some appeal as soon as they take away his bite and replace it with schmarm... this coming from a big fan of his sharp humor.
  

The Benchwarmers

IMDB: The Benchwarmers

• OVERALL: 59
  
• VISUAL: 64
  
• STORY: 59
  
• ACTING: 53
  
• BETTER THAN: Ed
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: The Sandlot
  
• WAS MISSING: The Benchwarmers trading card series.
  
• SEE IT FOR: Rob Schneider playing the stud to everybody else's loser, but to do this you'll have to stomach Spade's monk-do and Napoleon's... well... certainly no dynamite here.

Flakes

IMDB: Flakes

• OVERALL: 81
• VISUAL: 91
  
• STORY: 83
  
• ACTING: 69
  
• BETTER THAN: Envy
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: You've Got Mail
  
• WAS MISSING: More cereal and box art. Those visuals and scenes saved the movie.
  
• SEE IT FOR: Zooey Deschanel is always a treat, and the opening credits are a cereal lovers dream.

The Grand

The director of Incident at Loch Ness puts together another great mockumentary. He tells a brilliantly weaving tale of poker's oddball characters. Think Best in Show meets the World Poker Tour. They take several stereotypes from the math genius to the loudmouth. I wonder if Ted Forrest and Mike Matasou are getting royalties!

It was great to see lots of poker greats and all the celebrity cameos from the poker world. I would've liked to see them ribbed a bit for coming across in real life as such big wannabes, but it was fun treating the movie like Where's Waldo and trying to spot all the stars in their very small roles at times.



IMDB: The Grand

• OVERALL: 92
• VISUAL: 93
  
• STORY: 92
  
• ACTING: 90
  
• BETTER THAN: Shade
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Maverick
  
• WAS MISSING: For all the celebrity poker players in the movie (playing "real" players), they didn't actually take shots at celebrities who desperately want to be serious poker players! And where is Barry Greenstein when you want him!?
  
• SEE IT FOR: Ray Romano's fantasy football scenes are pure gold.
  

Jabberwocky

IMDB: Jabberwocky

• OVERALL: 73
• VISUAL: 79
  
• STORY: 69
  
• ACTING: 72
  
• BETTER THAN: Satan's Cheerleaders
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  
• WAS MISSING: John Cleese and gangs of medieval nuns.
  
• SEE IT FOR: Slow-motion jousting and knights playing hide-and-seek. The movie ends with an impressive visual of the horned-helmet knight versus a great, giant Jabberwocky puppet monster.

Trailer Park Boys: The Movie

IMDB: Trailer Park Boys: The Movie

• OVERALL: 92
  
• VISUAL: 86
  
• STORY: 96
  
• ACTING: 93
  
• BETTER THAN: The Big Lebowski
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Raising Arizona
  
• WAS MISSING: A cameo by Courtney Love as a white trash neighbor.
  
• SEE IT FOR: The subtleties of this comedy are brilliant, from John Paul Tremblay having a mixed drink in his hand 100% of the time to Rob Wells' better-than-Bueller asides to the audience.

The Onion: The Movie

IMDB: The Onion: The Movie

• OVERALL: 76
  
• VISUAL: 76
  
• STORY: 85
  
• ACTING: 66
  
• BETTER THAN: Idiocracy
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
  
• WAS MISSING: Better transitions between skits, and a lot was lost in translation from print to big screen. It just wasn't as fresh and the movie critic scenes were pure pain.
  
• SEE IT FOR: The Cockpuncher would probably make more money than the Onion movie, and the Britney Spears spoofs sound like stuff that's actually on the radio today, which is their point.

Love Actually

IMDB: Love Actually

• OVERALL: 98
  
• VISUAL: 97
  
• STORY: 98
  
• ACTING: 98
  
• BETTER THAN: About a Boy
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: The Cutting Edge
  
• WAS MISSING: More Keira. More Chiwetel. But it's spot on.
  
• SEE IT FOR: The unbelievably stellar ensemble cast, especially for us Brit lovers out there.

Human Traffic

IMDB: Human Traffic

• OVERALL: 62
  
• VISUAL: 51
  
• STORY: 71
  
• ACTING: 65
  
• BETTER THAN: The Rules of Attraction
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Trainspotting
  
• WAS MISSING: Likable supporting cast. Originality.
  
• SEE IT FOR: A pretty durned good record salesman.

Wizards

IMDB: Wizards

• OVERALL: 82
  
• VISUAL: 92
  
• STORY: 85
  
• ACTING: 70
  
• BETTER THAN: Fire and Ice (1983 Animated)
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: The Lord of the Rings (1978 Animated)
  
• WAS MISSING: Political correctness.
  
• SEE IT FOR: Nazi-zombie wizards, "They shot Fritz!," and Peace, perhaps the coolest assassin ever to grace the movies.

Uptown Girls

IMDB: Uptown Girls

• OVERALL: 45
  
• VISUAL: 65
  
• STORY: 30
  
• ACTING: 40
  
• BETTER THAN: Kazaam
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: The Boy Who Could Fly
  
• WAS MISSING: Fun nannies, cute kids, shenanigans and day trips, like the previews promised.
  
• SEE IT FOR: Perhaps the worst job ever of marketing a movie. Not for kids. This is False Advertising 101.

Lars and the Real Girl

IMDB: Lars and the Real Girl

• OVERALL: 82
  
• VISUAL: 75
  
• STORY: 91
  
• ACTING: 79
  
• BETTER THAN: On Line
  
• NOT AS GOOD AS: Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself
  
• WAS MISSING: The disturbing, perverse edge of the main character, even if lighthearted.
  
• SEE IT FOR: Gosling fans will enjoy, but it's Paul Schneider who keeps this one off life support.