Saturday, August 9, 2008

Top 10 Scariest Clown Movies

Top 10 Scariest Clown Movies - Actually, Top 25!
This is not a list of "best" movies, it is a list of the creepiest clown movies or moments. For example, Batman: The Dark Knight may feature the Joker as a clown, as may be one of the best movies listed, but the Joker's not as creepy as the clown in Poltergeist, so this list will reflect just the clown's creepy factor.


  1. Poltergeist - 100: One scene is probably responsible for half the world's therapy sessions. Still to this day, if I'm around clowns, dolls, thunder, lightning... Hell, anything... I cry like a baby. This clown is even scarier before it moves. The anticipation is insanely horrifying.
  2. Pee Wee's Big Adventure - 98: Just when you think the dizzying camera effects and evil laugh make the stolen bike clown scene the worst... you remember that there are also evil nurse clowns running through dark hallways pushing gurneys to some ridiculously tense Elfman music.
  3. It - 96: "We all float down here." Okay, that's all I can say or Stephen King's Pennywise will eat me.
  4. Batman: The Dark Knight - 95: If you have a minute, he'll tell you how his mouthy grin was cut with a razor, and he'll make it seem like it was your fault. A man with no fear is scary indeed, and he has less fear than Batman himself. He even does magic tricks. The fact that he died in real life before the film was released just makes him that much more of a mystery.
  5. Killer Klowns from Outer Space - 94: If I did drugs, I bet my life would feel something like this movie. This is one of the most bizarre trips I've ever been on, from the spinning Big Top spaceship to the rubber-masked alien clowns that shoot popcorn from their mouths. If these guys pull up to my house and get out of a car, I think I'll send myself to that big Grand Prize Game in the sky.
  6. Clownhouse - 93: Sam Rockwell would agree that three escaped mental patients disguised as clowns chasing you through a huge house does NOT equal a fun Friday night.
  7. The Brave Little Toaster - 91: Have you seen this? Probably not... or you don't remember because you blocked it out. Check it out HERE on YouTube and imagine a kid watching this... and we wonder why people grow up afraid of clowns. Yeesh.
  8. Halloween (Rob Zombie's Halloween) - 87: Clown mask off? Happy kid. Clown mask on? Deeply tormented, brooding killer. Knowing this was essentially the key moment in the transformation to the legendary boogeyman helps.
  9. Halloween 4 & 5 - 81: It's all about the holes cut out of the mask and the first-person camera view. How could someone so innocent be so evil? Oh yeah! She's related to Mr. Myers.
  10. Demonic Toys - 80: The cover alone could give you nightmares. I remember walking through the old-school VHS movie rental store and strolling through the horror section as a kid. Man... you take out CGI and you get some really tangible, wicked toys, especially the clown-in-a-box.
  11. Batman (Original) - 78: Jack is far too devilishly funny to be deemed truly evil. Still, it's a great performance that scares the crap out of you if you realize how driven he is.
  12. Clown at Midnight - 73: There's something raw about this film that adds to the eeriness. The low production values and dark boogeyman scenes seem to actually work. Sure, we've seen the whole deal where the camera pans away, pans back and WHAM! there's the clown, but it fits here. Wave goodbye to the clown!
  13. The Devil's Rejects - 70: Normal-enough-looking guy walks up and asks to borrow your car. Oh, except he's painted up like a clown and he's beating you and scaring your children. Yeah, this feels like it could really happen the way it is shot, that makes it creepy.
  14. House of 1,000 Corpses - 67: I think the campy commercial presentation took a lot away from dear ol' Captain Spaulding. I'd be more afraid of him in the sequel.
  15. Dead Clowns - 65: There's something about making clowns actually look scary that takes away from the fear factor. Keep them happy... that's what lets them sneak up on us. If you try to incorporate "Twister" and "Night of the Living Dead"... you just end up missing the mark. Still, people who are into the whole gorefest (I'm not) will get some kicks.
  16. Killjoy 1 & 2 - 60: Creepy only for that cheap, slasher flick kinda scare. It is what it is. Not much more to say except I've only seen pieces of the sequel over the years, so maybe I missed all the really good parts.
  17. Gacy - 52: Take Francis from Pee Wee's Big Adventures and put him in a movie based on the true story of a serial killer with a clown fetish. Yeah, I agree... I would've been far more scared if it wasn't Francis. Oh well.
  18. The Nightmare Before Christmas - 51: The movie itself isn't creepy, but if I was a youngin and I saw The Clown with the Tear-away Face, I probably wouldn't be going to any circuses any time soon.
  19. Rize - 49: This documentary involves a lot of grown men dressed up as clowns and krumping. Grown men violently dancing in clown attire? Please don't send in the clowns.
  20. Shakes the Clown - 41: Bobcat Goldwaith is creepy. He was even creepy in Hot to Trot (maybe it was the Elfman score?)... All I know is if I see a bunch of drunk clowns going mime bashing, I'm gonna call for mommy.
  21. Delicatessen - 40: The clown himself isn't really scary, but the dark mood of the movie and the clown's impending doom lead to, at the very least, an unsettling feeling.
  22. Quick Change - 37: "Nobody likes a whi-ner!" That's probably the last thing you'd here before Bill Murray's criminal clown offs you with his squeaky horn of death. Chip Chipowski is only scary because he acts so anti-clown while in costume. It's just odd.
  23. Akira - 34: The Clowns don't really sound like a tough gang, but when you see them riding their motorcycles of doom you realize they could easily take out the Yancy Street Gang.
  24. Spawn - 31: Lequizamo is the perfect example of somebody trying to be creepy, but overdoing it. Sure, that's probably the point... but for being the right-hand man of Bealzabub himself, I'd like it to be 51% wicked, 49% funny, not the other way around.
  25. Patch Adams - 14: Knowing the outcome of the movie, it's a little unsettling to think of Robin Williams with the clown nose. I don't know why, but it just feels a bit too ghostly for my liking.
There are some movies left off of this list, like S.I.C.K., Fear of Clowns and a few others, but that's for a reason! Even Patch Adams was scarier than they were! With that, I leave you with a YouTube gem. Be afraid... be very afraid!


Anonymous said...

I think Heath Ledger` Joker should of been first. Have you seen how many awards he`s won for the Joker role- millions! Plus hes nominated for an oscer for the Joker role- everyone believes and knows he`s going to win it!Bet he will =]

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous Heath Ledger should not of been first! He wasn't scary at all. Btw, nice list. Currently watching House of 1000 corpses.

mrbonzoorubber said...

Vulgar the Clown is a pretty disturbing film I had to take out my brain and scrub it after watching this I think this would make this my #1 scariest clown film


ok first of all, i just HATE clowns period. so every time i see a clown im going to run awayy!! and i JUST got done watching IT. thats the name of the movie. and i wanted to hide the whollleeee time !! :/ thanks to a certain someone who made me watch it that is!!! THANKS TO THE NO SLEEEP TONIGHT!!!!!!